Teaching Moment
Before I continue, let me explain that earlier in the week, during a meeting in which the entire ward meets to discuss changes in procedure and so on, one new client asked the most frequently asked question of all the questions ever asked by clients at the hospital, 'How do I get out of here?' Another client answered, 'By keeping out of trouble; don't act aggressively and do what you are told.' Then, another client refuted this answer with a profane remark. It dawned on me that I now had what we call a 'teaching moment'; and I said to the disgruntled man, 'You're right! Keeping out of trouble, not acting aggressively and doing what you are told IS NOT how you get out of here, is it?!' The ward was silent (because it seemed to contradict what they had been taught since their admission, namely, that 'If you do everything we ask of you, you will be discharged or transferred to a less restrictive environment.')
I asked the entire ward, 'How many of you know someone who says they have done everything they have been asked to do; they appear to have met their Criteria for Discharge written in their Individualized Treatment Plans; they've been free of physical and verbal aggression for years; they attend all their classes; they are at Level 6 or 7 while most clients struggle to achieve and keep their Level 3; and they are STILL here on this ward – and the Treatment Team is not willing to submit a request for their transfer to a less restrictive setting?' All their hands shot up. At that moment, our time ran out for the group, and the RN was setting up to pass out medications. So, the group ended on an unresolved note; until my smaller group met the following week.
In that group, (getting back to my story) I recounted the previous discussion. Additionally, I reiterated a previous presentation to them in my Basic Thinking Errors Group about the opposite of Error, which is … Truth. Then, I asked them, 'Is it TRUE that DOING all that is expected of you – abiding by the ward rules, attending and participating in all of your groups, and avoiding all inappropriate behavior – will get you out of here?' They all answered, 'No!' Then, I took a risk. I asked, 'Then, does it look to you like we are LYING to you?' They all said, 'Yes!'
Ah! I had brought them to yet another teaching moment. 'No,' I said, 'we are not lying to you. But, there IS a thinking error present here. Can anyone see it?' Silence. So, I explained, 'The laws, statutes, regulations, policies, procedures, ordinances and ward rules are written for those who are not willing to refrain from hurting others. You are here at this hospital because you disobeyed the law, and you are here to 'change your behavior.' Now, we've talked about why we act the way we do. Right?' They said, 'We act out of our feelings.' 'Right,' I said. 'And where do our feelings come from?' They replied, 'From our thoughts.' 'And, where do our thoughts come from?' Silence.
I reiterated the answer to them. 'Our thoughts, perceptions and beliefs come out of our life's experiences. When a child is molested by a parent who is an alcoholic or drug addict; when he is abandoned, beaten, neglected and otherwise treated like trash; what does that child THINK about himself? He thinks, 'I'm no good, there's something wrong with me, it's all my fault, I don't have any control over my body, the people who love me the most are the ones who can hurt me the most and I'll never be free.''
Then, I asked, 'And, what did YOU feel when these things happened to you? You felt afraid, powerless, guilty, ashamed, disconnected and betrayed. These feelings turned into anger. You grew up and acted these feelings out toward others. You committed the crimes that got you here. You acted out the Thinking Errors that you learned in your early life and which still exist within you today. Your peers, those who have moved on to a lesser restrictive environment have changed their behaviour, not by simply obeying the rules; they have changed … their THINKING. They have come to the conclusion that 'I AM important to others,' 'I AM in control of myself,' 'my caretakers will not hurt me,' and 'there is nothing to be afraid of.' Their behaviour reflects what they have changed in their minds and in their hearts. In other words, they don't NEED the law – rules and regulations, and policies and procedures – to control their behaviour; they ARE a law unto themselves. In other words, the law is in their hearts.'